When Love is a Sin
by videogameandanime-empress
Summary: He was finally learning to accept that.To accept that maybe he DID have feelings for the General.Or maybe it was all just some sick illusion evolving in his mind,either way he needed to see him.He needed to see with his own eyes that Roy was alive. RoyEd
1. A Sick Illusion

**(A/N) Alright I've finally learned to accept this side of myself... the yaoi-rific part of me... I accept the fact that I right yaoi fanfiction and I am not longer ashamed.**

**This fic I'm going to try not to rush or anything, but I'll probably still write each chapter in a whole sitting (seriously if I don't I never finish). And I'm going to try and make more chapters. Also I'm really trying to get the same positive response I got with Breathe on this one, so if you've read Breathe please tell me if this has the same essence to it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Arakawa-sensei's lovely masterpiece known as Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did however, there would be more scenes of Ed without his shirt on.**

_"Go on! Hit me with your best shot, oh mighty flame alchemist!" Edward taunted Roy Mustang. "Come and get me!"_

_"You'll regret those words, Fullmetal!" Roy yelled back at him._

_"Brother, General, please stop!" Alphonse pleaded "Don't fight like this, this is ridiculous. Stop! This is stupid!"_

_Ed transmuted his arm into the blade which he used so often and grinned. Roy held up his hand in position to burn Edward, smiling like a snake ready to strike._

_Suddenly a the sound of a gun firing off froze them in their tracks. It was Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, glaring at them she whispered the word "Fools."_

_Ed looked back at Roy who was starting to relax a bit. This angered Ed, was the man just going to stop? Just like that? _

_Ed marched up to Roy and got in his face "You're just going to stop because she thinks you should? You act like a fool in love." he said viciously._

_Roy's glare at Ed slowly transformed into a grin. "Oh dear boy," he leaned down to Eds level "Are you jealous?"_

_Ed became more tense "Hell no! That's disgusting! I would never want you to-" He stopped as Roy leaned in closer towards him and whispered in his ear "I love you." _

_Edward pulled away and threw his fist at Roys jaw "Don't mess with peoples feelings dammit! What would happen if you did that to someone who actually felt that way! Would you feel no remourse!" he screamed._

_Roy's grin turned into a look of shock "What did you say?" _

_Ed knew he'd said too much the moment he spoke. Why had he said those things... he didn't feel that way... because he couldn't... the whole idea was sick and wrong. The very thought of it disgusted him... didn't it?_

-

"The... General?" Edward gulped. The very thought scared him. The General was hospitilized? In critical care? This was seriously bad... and Edward cared. He cared that the General had fatal wounds.

As he tried to grasp all this while the Lieutenant continued on about Mustangs injuries and what might result from all of this.

Edward thanked the Lieutenant and rushed to the hospital room that Mustang was in. He rushed to see Roy. He was finally learning to accept that. To accept that maybe, just maybe, he had special feelings for the General.

Or maybe it was all just some sick illusion evolving in his mind, either way... he needed to see him. He needed to see with his own eyes that Roy was alive. He knew he couldn't stand it without confirmation of the injuries and that he would live.

"Roy!" Ed yelled swinging the door open. Suddenly he clasped his hand over his mouth realizing he probably shouldn't be adressing his superior officer like that.

"Fullmetal?" Roy said dazed as he looked up from the book that he was reading. "Why are you here?"

"I uh..." Ed was at a loss of words. Sure he knew why he was there. He was there because Roy was all that he could think about, all he worried about, constantly thinking that he could die at any moment, stressing over it all. Of course Ed had realized it by now, but... he couldn't tell Roy that... it was just too wrong.

"I..." Edwards thoughts were racing "I came to see how much damage the great Flame Alchemist has taken." he said sarcastically.

"Heh.." the General grinned "Are you sure it has nothing to with the what happened last week?"

Ed was stunned. He was more than just stunned, he was downright shocked, he hadn't thought of what had happened. "Oh that..." he said completely caught off guard. But soon enough he realized the General was right, it DID have to do with what had happened previously... If that hadn't of occured maybe...

...his feelings could have been surpressed.

No it would have all come out eventually. Someday, he would have poured out his feelings to him, he would have opened his heart up to Mustang. But... maybe the right time ... was now.

Ed sat down on Roy's hospital bed and stared at the ground in an awkward silence... as the two sat there reflecting...

After a few moments Edward figeted a bit and he looked at Roy and gulped. "S-so..." he said uneasily.

He took a deep breath to ease himself into asking, though he still feared the answer.

"Are you going to be alright?"

**(A/N) There. That seems like a good enough spot to end it. So, if you read this please review. I'll start the next chapter soon, and the more you inflate my ego with reviews the faster and better chapters will be put out.**


	2. Slow Steady Heartbeat

**(A/N) Wow this is pretty fast updating for me. Personally I thought the last chapter was kinda slow and uneventful but maybe that's just me and my short attention span. Anyways this one shall start out with some action in it... You know something I realized when I read the first chapter? I realized it's sort of about acceptance of feelings... just like this is me accepting the fact that I right yaoi... ironic eh?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the fabulous work of Arakawa-sensei known as FullMetal Alchemist because if I did there would be more scenes of Ed with his shirt off and hair down.**

"Dammit General! Answer me!" Ed demanded slamming his hand down. He stared at Roy intensely. "Answer me."

Roys gaze drifted away towards the shut door and then back at Edwards face. "You never told me why you came." Roy said quietly. Edward groaned "I came because... I came because I... I..." he turned his head trying not to blush "you... know why I came."

Roy sighed and sat back. "Did Lieutenant Hawkeye tell you why I'm here?"

"You... you're hurt. You were hurt in battle or something... right?" Ed said questioningly.

"There was an attack on central a few days ago..."

-

_"General look out!" Roy spun around and snapped his fingers sending flames through the air. "There's no end to it dammit!" Roy yelled sending fire in almost every direction "They're everywhere!"_

_There had been an attack on central, the attack was from a large group of rebels, who had their power not only in numbers, but they were alchemists._

_Roy could hear a calling in the distance... it sounded as though it was a call for him... "General... Mustang.." Could it be the Lieutenant? _

_"Falman, Breda, Fury!" Roy said commandingly. "Yes sir!" they said in unison. "Cover me." Roy ran down the hall and up the stairs towards where he'd heard the noise._

_"General.." Riza whimpered as Roy burst through the door. There stood three of the rebels, one had a choke hold on Hawkeye. She looked weak.. and rather faint... how could this happen..._

_"Good job." said one of the men. "I told you we'd be able to lure the great Flame Alchemist with this pathetic excuse for a woman." He tightened his grip around the Lieutenants throat. _

_Why hadn't she shot them? Roy asked himself, she was never unarmed. Roy snapped his fingers in the direction of one of them setting him on fire. "Lowly bastard." Roy hissed and turned to get the other one when suddenly the man behind him threw a knife at Roys back. _

_BOOM. The man was shot in the head. "You think I'd allow you to call me a pathetic excuse of a woman? You think I'd allow myself to be manipulated like that?" Riza said furiously._

_She turned to see the General pull the knife out of his back and threw it in front of him the man dodged it but when directly towards where Roy was aiming his flames. Mustang and Hawkeye raced back down to the lower level when Roy noticed that the building was slowly collapsing because of his overuse of fire._

_"Lieutenant" he commanded "Clear out the area as best you can and get the hell out of here." Roy turned and ran down the opposite hall._

_He went in every room checking, making sure there was nobody else. He made sure everyone was out of the building. After checking the last room he turned to escape himself. When suddenly from behind he was attacked. Shot in the left shoulder. "Da-...damn dog of... the military..." his attacker hissed as he fell. Roy clenched his bleeding shoulder and continued to race out of the building._

_As he finally reached the sunlight of outside... he collapsed..._

-

"B-but..." Ed stuttered "You'll be alright wont you? You'll heal just fine.." he answered himself.

"My chest is... in so much pain... it hurts just to cough.." Roy trembled a bit "There's a bunch of internal bleeding... and other crap that I don't understand."

"No!" Ed yelled "You can't die! You can't die dammit you can't!"

"Calm down you idiot." Roy said agitated, "It's my own stupid fault for using alchemy too much anyways."

"You aren't going to die.." Ed said stubbornly "I wont let you."

Roy clenched his fist "You know as a state alchemist you are not to get yourself emotionally attached to things. I've told you once and I'll tell you again." He mumbled "Don't get your feelings mixed in with these things."

"Says you." Ed glared "You really think I want my feelings mixed in with this crap?"

"I-" Roy started to talk but Ed cut him off.

"Do you really think I WANT to love you? It's not my fault dammit! I - I can't help it! It's sick! It's twisted! It's wrong!" His voice cracked as he screamed.

"But you love me anyway.." Roy said softly. "...hmm..."

"Wh...what?" Ed asked quietly.

"I do too..." Roy said closing his eyes "I really do.."

"You what?" Ed jolted.

"I.. love you.." Roy yawned and nodded off to sleep.

Ed sighed and spoke "Bastard." He smiled.

His smile slowly faded as he looked over the man. He really did look as if he could die any second... Ed leaned his ear down toward Roy's chest to check his heart beat... even though it was slow it still sounded steady.. still...

Ed slowly drifted to sleep.

**(A/N) Not as long as I hoped for but good enough. A little fluffier than planned too... Anyways review and I'll update... Not that anyone reviewed the first chapter anyways. -sobs- Noooo! My ego is deflating. --**


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